Affective autonomy

Affective autonomy is a way of life. It assumes that the goal of our life is happiness. And true happiness comes from our way of thinking, which we repeat day in and day out. How do we know if what we think is helpful or hurtful? Well, it has to do with how we feel. Do you feel frustrated, anxious, sad, or angry? Thanks to our affective dimension, we know intuitively whether we feel good or bad. Our thoughts create our reality: loving, helpful thoughts therefore generates pleasant feelings. Our thoughts might also create perceptions which have the power to sabotage our inner peace by giving us a growing feeling of unhappiness…

Who says affective autonomy also says that the opposite exists: affective dependence. I will be happy when, or if … I love you when, or if … We live in a rather materialistic society, where we believe we are free when we possess a lot, accomplish a lot, or look good. This happiness, which is derived from what we do or have is, however, ephemeral and only possible under certain conditions. If I believe that my happiness comes from success at work, a perfect health, lots of money, beautiful weather or my actions having the “correct” consequences, I depend on these things to be happy. Affective dependence is when my happiness is conditional to what I do, what I have, or what I look like, before I can allow myself to feel good and loving… It is a kind of slavery which, over the years, makes us increasingly tired, disappointed, anxious, stressed, depressed, etc. Fortunately, our discomfort can be the seedbed of change. We can make the decision to go the “school of happiness” and learn to understand ourselves and to develop a true sense of self-love. In other words, we learn to become our best friend, all day long, anywhere, and at any time, with everyone, whether it’s sunny or raining outside!