Emotions are innate. From birth, a baby has no other way to communicate than through emotions. They are part of a guidance system that helps human beings respond to their basic needs for survival. Through emotion, a child lets a parent know whether their needs are being met — for example, the need to sleep, drink, eat, play, feel safe, be held, reassured and comforted.

Emotions are warning signals. They are like the little lights on a car dashboard. If the “low oil,” “low fuel” or “check engine” lights come on and you ignore them, what happens? You may eventually end up at the garage because something is no longer functioning properly. In the same way, our emotions are warning signals from our inner vehicle.

I often say: “I am the first person I wake up with every morning and the last person I go to bed with every night. I have every reason to learn to become my own best friend.”

Our emotions help inform us about our perception of reality, ourselves, other people and the circumstances of life. They are valuable guides that help us recognize and respond to our emotional needs — self-love, respect, acceptance, realism, patience, compassion, solutions, reassurance, understanding, kindness and more.

Affective Autonomy teaches that thoughts create. Our thinking can generate positive thoughts and positive emotions, or negative thoughts and negative emotions. When I repeatedly think negatively and experience negative emotions, those patterns can gradually contribute to negative feelings.

For example: imagine that I have developed the habit of putting myself down and believing that I am not good at anything and will never succeed. I may repeat these thoughts again and again while experiencing sadness. Over time, these beliefs can become deeply programmed ideas that I accept as true, and I may eventually experience feelings of inadequacy, failure or self-rejection.

Thoughts create: they can contribute either to my well-being or to my inner discomfort. The mind leads, and the rest of the body follows.

Affective Autonomy teaches that happiness is mental. If I tell myself, “I hate myself right now. What an idiot I am,” I cannot expect to feel well. The belief that I am an idiot cannot create happiness. In that moment, I am judging myself instead of trying to understand myself.

Affective Autonomy teaches that thoughts create. Our thinking can generate positive thoughts and positive emotions, or negative thoughts and negative emotions. When I repeatedly think negatively and experience negative emotions, those patterns can gradually contribute to negative feelings.

For example: imagine that I have developed the habit of putting myself down and believing that I am not good at anything and will never succeed. I may repeat these thoughts again and again while experiencing sadness. Over time, these beliefs can become deeply programmed ideas that I accept as true, and I may eventually experience feelings of inadequacy, failure or self-rejection.

Thoughts create: they can contribute either to my well-being or to my inner discomfort. The mind leads, and the rest of the body follows.

Affective Autonomy teaches that happiness is mental. If I tell myself, “I hate myself right now. What an idiot I am,” I cannot expect to feel well. The belief that I am an idiot cannot create happiness. In that moment, I am judging myself instead of trying to understand myself.

Would you like support in developing a kinder relationship with yourself and learning how to create your own happiness?

I offer helping-relationship sessions using an Affective Autonomy approach, online or in Longueuil, Quebec.

View my Google profile and reviews

Renée Marc-Aurèle
Helping-Relationship Therapist – Affective Autonomy
Vivre le bonheur
vivrelebonheur@videotron.ca